Daddy’s Prisoner

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I found this memoir while I was browsing through books on Scribd, looking for my next read. Although I was off-put by the title, I read the synopsis to find out what it was about. After reading a couple paragraphs about the years of abuse Alice suffered at the hands of her father, I decided to read the book.

Daddy's Prisoner by Alice Lawrence with Megan Lloyd Davies
Daddy's Prisoner by Alice Lawrence with Megan Lloyd Davies

Alice and her siblings were raised in a poor household with an ailing mother and an abusive father. She was the second oldest of several children. All the children were wild and unruly in school. At home, though, they were physically beaten by their father. Instead of working, her father collected benefits for each of the children to fund his lifestyle.

Alice’s father started sexually abusing her when she was young. When her mother had a hysterectomy after a dangerous birth, her father started raping Alice. He told her that now she’d have to have children for him. Alice got pregnant several times by her father and most of her pregnancies ended in miscarriage.

Even when questioned by family members and the police, Alice did not tell them who fathered her children. She believed that if she told anyone, her father would kill her mother. Because of this, she made up fictitious stories of affairs with unnamed local men.

Most Graphic Memoir I’ve Read

This was the most graphic memoir I’ve read. Although she didn’t describe everything in detail, there were some graphic descriptions of physical and sexual violence. In one chapter, she graphically describes a specific sexual assault.

Alice writes about her pregnancies, her miscarriages, and the early death of her infant daughter. She details abuse that continued despite her pregnancies. Her experience is unsettling.

I strongly recommend that people read this with caution. Although I typically handle a decent amount of graphic content in memoirs, the content in this memoir was deeply disturbing. Her situation was so bad and for so long. What her dad did was dreadful and unforgivable.

An Unhappy “Happy Ending”

Alice eventually escaped her father’s abuse. Shortly after getting away from him, she met her husband. While her father spread rumors and spewed venom, Alice moved on and began a family with her husband. She only told him a little bit about the abuse her father inflicted.

One night, though, she couldn’t take it any longer. She told her husband about the sexual abuse, the pregnancies, and the constant threat that her dad would kill Alice and her mother. Although he wanted to comfort her, Alice’s husband could not understand why she would continue to contact her parents after years of abuse.

They struggled a lot, especially when Alice wanted her mother to spend time with her children. Although Alice never left her children alone with her dad, Alice’s husband couldn’t handle the situation any longer. He left her.

After rooting for Alice to escape, it was disappointing to learn that she ended up in such an unhappy marriage situation. While this is often what happens, it was sad seeing almost no resolution to her situation. Her father was later imprisoned, but only for three months. It was anti-climactic, but I suppose that’s how life is sometimes.

Review Breakdown

Writing – The writing was okay. It wasn’t amazing, but it wasn’t necessarily bad, either.

Story – This was an interesting story. It was dark and graphic at points. However, the story was interesting enough to keep me reading.

Mature Content – There was so much sexual content, as well as language throughout the book.

Likability of Author – The author was likable. I mostly just felt sad for her and the situations she faced. I have a personal pet peeve about name-calling, so I was a little off-put by the fact she referred to her dad as “The Idiot” throughout the book. However, this is a mild name when compared to his evil.

Quick Review

Daddy’s Prisoner is a dark memoir that details the years of abuse Alice suffered by her father’s hand. In graphic detail, Alice writes about years of physical and sexual abuse. When her mother could no longer bear him children, Alice’s father turned to her. She became pregnant and miscarried several times. Although this book is dark, it is interesting. It is a good reminder that not all stories get tied up into a pretty bow in the end.

Her Last Death

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When I stumbled upon Her Last Death, I was fascinated by the book’s description. In the short blurb I read, I discovered that it was a book about a woman who decided against seeing her mother on her deathbed. Susanna’s mother lived an excessive lifestyle marked by addiction and abuse. After saying goodbye several times to a mother who was always “dying,” Susanna had exhausted her capacity for goodbyes.

Her Last Death by Susanna Sonnenberg
Her Last Death by Susanna Sonnenberg

Susanna was the older of two daughters. Susanna’s grandparents supported her, her mother and her sister after their parents divorced. Susanna’s mother was promiscuous and addicted to cocaine. When she was still in middle school, Susanna’s mother offered her cocaine for the first time. Throughout her childhood, Susanna’s mother encouraged her to engage in sexual behaviors and abuse substances.

Addiction and promiscuity led Susanna’s mother to a life in constant crisis. As a habitual liar, she constantly told her daughters things that weren’t true. In one incident, she told her daughters that they were going to take a road trip because she had just been diagnosed with cancer and only had a few weeks to live. On this “farewell tour,” Susanna and her sister grieved the impending loss of their mother. This and other similar events became a constant drain on Susanna’s emotions.

When the news came that Susanna’s mother was in an accident, Susanna chose not to visit her in the hospital. She had already grieved her mother’s death several times and didn’t have the emotional capacity to do it again.

Breaking through Generational Dysfunction

Susanna’s mother encouraged her promiscuity. After her mother pressured her to start having sex, Susanna had her first sexual encounter with a teacher. The affair with her teacher lasted several years. When the relationship ended, Susanna made it her personal goal to sleep with as many people as possible.

Despite her goal, Susanna eventually married and settled down. Through a healthy marriage relationship, she learned the value of vulnerability and faithfulness. Despite her husband’s kindness, she struggled against the thought processes instilled by her mother.

I come from a long line of alcoholics. Alcoholism is something I have always known. However, I don’t drink as an adult. Part of this is because I’m a pastor in a “dry” denomination. A large part, however, is because I know how dangerous one sip of alcohol could be for me. One sip is all it would take for me to fall down the rabbit hole of addiction. I’ve struggled against the temptation to drink throughout my entire life.

As I read Susanna’s memoir, it was easy for me to judge her behavior. There are things she did that seem unimaginable to me. Yet when I consider her childhood and the horrors inflicted by her mother, I see how much she’s improved her life since her childhood.

Review Breakdown

Writing – Susanna’s writing style was erratic. However, the style fit well with the subject matter. The content was still understandable in the midst of the erratic writing.

Story – The story jumped between events without regard for chronological order. However, the erratic plotline worked, painting a picture of what childhood looked like when marked by drug abuse and madness. Her memoir aimed to explain why she didn’t go to her mother’s bedside and she met that aim.

Mature Content – There is a LOT of mature content. This book contains drug use, explicit language, and graphic descriptions of sexual acts.

Likability of Author – Despite some of her bad actions, the author was likable. At the core, she desired to do the right thing. Although her mother mocked her for being a “goody two-shoes,” I commend her for wanting to improve herself.

BONUS Audiobook Review – The audiobook was read by the author, which was great for understanding the tone of certain conversations. I almost always enjoy hearing the book read by the author, since it gives more life to the story.

Quick Review

Her Last Death provides an emotional memoir with an interesting storyline. It provides a glimpse at what it looks like to grow up with an abusive mother. This book is very graphic, however, so I cannot recommend it for young readers or for those who are sensitive to these things. Although I typically have a good stomach for graphic content, I personally struggled with portions of the book. If you’re unsure about reading a book with graphic content, The Glass Castle may be a better fit for a similar story.

The Glass Castle

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When I first saw previews for The Glass Castle, I knew it was a film I wanted to see. I mentioned the movie to my husband, who laughed as he read its synopsis. “So basically it’s a movie about your life?” he asked. When I saw that the movie was based on a memoir, I decided to pick up the book first. And while the details are eerily similar in many respects, Jeannette Walls has had a life much wilder than mine has ever been.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Jeannette Walls is the second of four children. Her father was a brilliant man who taught her and her siblings about math and science but also brought terror on them through his alcohol and gambling addictions. Their mother was an artist, but loved her art to the neglect of her parenting responsibilities. Together, her parents were a toxic combination that formed instability and turmoil for the children. They constantly moved around, living in poverty because of their parents’ choices.

In this memoir, Jeannette details moving from town to town and finally settling in her father’s hometown, where they bought a tiny house that was falling to pieces. Even in their poverty, their father believed that they would be able to build a castle out of glass one day. He carried the floor plans they had created for this castle, and the members of the family constantly added to these plans. In the backyard of their tiny, broken down house, the children dug a foundation for this castle under their father’s direction. However, life’s hardships required them to eventually fill it with trash. It is under these poor conditions that Jeannette and her older sister began to make plans to move to New York and start their lives apart from their parents.

A Heartbreaking Birthday Wish

One of the most powerful parts of this memoir was Jeannette’s recollection of her tenth birthday. Her dad took her outside to ask her what she wanted. He said he would get her anything, even if he had to die trying to get it.

Instantly she knew what she wanted, but she didn’t know if she should say it. As I listened to the audio recording of the book, I knew what she wanted, too.

Her dad pushed and begged her to tell him what it was that she wanted. Nothing was too big.

Finally, she told him: “Maybe you could stop drinking.”

I was driving to work as I listened to this part of Jeannette’s story, and I began to sob. Big, ugly tears. How many times have I wished that my own father might give up his addictions, for me? Oh, as an adult I know there’s so much more to addiction than selfishness. People use drugs and alcohol to numb unimaginable amounts of pain, but find themselves trapped by their addictive powers. But as a daughter, I want my dad to be my dad again. Sober.

Jeannette’s wish is heartbreaking not just because a ten-year-old girl wished for her dad to be sober for her birthday, but because that’s the wish of so many of us.

Skip the Movie and Read the Book

I ended up watching the movie, although my husband and I waited until after I read the book. There were a lot of things I liked about the movie, but I loved the richness of the book so much more.

The movie jumped around a lot more than the book did. While it probably made enough sense without having read the book, I felt like there were so many things in the movie that were underemphasized. Things that were important in the book seemed to be background images in the movie.

While my husband (who didn’t read the book) really liked the “present day” timeline in the movie, I did not. I felt like the time spent on it could have been used to make more sense of the things that happened in the book. Multiple stories from the book were combined into single scenes, making them lose their punch. For example, Jeannette’s birthday wish was turned into a plea for her dad to stop drinking when he returned home drunk one night.

That doesn’t mean there weren’t parts that touched me, though. One scene brought me to tears. Several others seemed to take on new life because I saw the film version. While I don’t think the movie is a complete waste of time, if you had to choose one or the other I highly recommend the book.

Review Breakdown

Writing – The writing was great. It carried the feel of the people and the story well.

Story – The story was intensely compelling from start to finish. While the last little bit seemed a little slower than the rest, it was still interesting and brought a feeling of resolution. It was a story that made me want to keep reading.

Mature Content – There was a lot of profanity (mostly used in quotes of Jeannette’s father). There was a fair amount of violence and gruesome depictions of the effects of alcoholism and poverty on a family. Jeannette also describes a few sexual abuse experiences, although not graphically.

Likability of Author – Jeannette was likable as I read this book. Occasionally her nearly-blind support of her father was frustrating. However, that support is understandable considering the bond between parent and child.

BONUS Audiobook Review – I always love when the audiobook is read by the author. It was great hearing Jeannette Walls read this book. It added extra life to the story hearing the inflection exactly as she intended it to be.

Other Books by Jeannette Walls – Dish: The Inside Story on the World of Gossip (2000); Half Broke Horses: A True-Life Novel (2009); and The Silver Star (2013).

Quick Review

The Glass Castle is an emotional and rewarding read, especially for adult children of alcoholics. I personally found it to be especially cathartic as I worked my way through Jeannette’s story, finding myself having many of the same emotions and experiences that she has had. This book was well-written and had a story that kept me interested throughout. Of the books I’ve read so far this year, this one may be my favorite.


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Julie Gregory shares her heartbreaking story in Sickened. This memoir details the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother, who subjected her to unnecessary medical testing. Known as Munchausen’s by Proxy, those who subject their children unneeded medical treatment gain a sense of importance and needed sympathy because of their roles as caretakers.

Sickened by Julie Gregory
Sickened by Julie Gregory

Julie was raised by her schizophrenic father and her abusive mother. Her mother started taking Julie to doctors for medical tests she did not need at a very young age. When they arrived at the doctor’s office, her mother would tell her to act sick. In elementary school, Julie began to realize that not all of the symptoms that her mother described were ones she really felt. Even so, she went along with her mother’s instructions. The medical tests became increasingly invasive as she got older. At one point, Julie’s mother even asked a doctor to do open heart surgery on her. When he refused, she became enraged.

The abuse extended outside of the doctor’s office. Julie’s mother would provoke her father into fits of rage. Blinded by his rage, he would beat his children. In one such incident, he nearly beat Julie to death. When Julie was in high school, her family’s home caught on fire while she was spending the night at a friend’s house. It was not until years later that she found out her parents set it on fire to claim the insurance money. This realization, among others, helped Julie to understand the extent to which her childhood was abusive. She sought counseling for her trauma and worked intentionally on her recovery.

The Failure of Adults in Julie’s Life

Besides her parents, many other adults failed Julie during her years of abuse. Most obvious were the doctors and nurses who treated her. While Munchausen’s by Proxy was relatively unknown at the time, the doctors should have noticed Julie’s lack of symptoms or positive medical results.

When Julie was thirteen and about to undergo some medical tests, she told a nurse that she didn’t need the tests because she wasn’t really sick. She told the nurse that her mom was forcing her to pretend. In response to this revelation, the nurse sedated her and continued with the test.

In high school, Julie went to talk to a counselor about emancipation. She told him about all of the abuse. When she arrived home, she found out that he had told her parents everything she had confided in him. She was beaten severely and then received counseling from the school counselor weekly for the rest of the year for her “overactive imagination.”

All of these failures by the adults in her life were heartbreaking to read about. Each time she tried to reach out and get help, her situation got worse in some way. It is my hope that if a child ever reaches out to me in my position in the church, I can get them help without making things worse for them.

Review Breakdown

Writing – Overall the writing was above average. At times it got very abstract, but I felt that it was a good glimpse into the mind of a very traumatized person.

Story – The story was very morbidly interesting. It had a good pace and kept my interest throughout the entire book. This is a story I will continue to think about for the weeks to come.

Mature Content – There is nearly too much mature content to list. The author uses abundant profanity and a slew of racial and derogatory slurs. While these are things that are coming out of her parents’ mouths, they are still contained in the pages of the book. There are also vivid descriptions of terrible abuse. This is certainly not a read for young readers or for the faint of heart.

Likability of Author – Reading this book, I wanted the author to win. I wanted her to get away from her parents. Although a reader from a healthier background may be frustrated by some of the decisions she made, I found her to be overall likable. It was inspiring to me that she was able to move past her abusive situation.

Other Books by Julie Gregory – My Father’s Keeper (2009)

Quick Review

Sickened was a very intense and interesting read. Once I picked it up, I did not want to put it down, despite its very mature content. I thought that its adult content offered a glimpse into the life of a severely abusive home. Although I have read books about other abusive situations, Julie Gregory’s book offers the unique perspective of a victim of Munchausen’s by Proxy. My main complaint is that the book finished on a cliffhanger that does not appear to be answered in her second book, My Father’s Keeper (according to reviews). I will likely be picking up her other book to read more of her story.